You Know You’re an EMT If You…

  1. Can identify sirens down to the type of truck they’re on, and always have a comment about how the driver is using them.
  2. Appreciate people with good veins, and compliment them.
  3. DO “Run on Dunkin’.”
  4. Get confused when people talk about “holidays” and ask you what you’re doing for the upcoming “long weekend.”
  5. Could write reviews of all the hospital cafeterias, and discuss your favorites at length.
  6. Navigate by nursing homes and hospitals, even on your days off.
  7. Understand that a person’s weight is related to what floor of the walk-up they live on, where each floor higher is an exponental increase in weight.
  8. Can speak in all acronyms and be understood.
  9. Can’t hear a story of an injury without trying to top it.
  10. Never take the opportunity to eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom for granted.
  11. Have said “I’m only doing a short 8 hours today.”
  12. Assess every elevator you get into for rapid extrication scenarios.
  13. Vow to get your DNR tatooed the instant you get sick or hit 75.
  14. Consider working with the bomb squad or HazMat a fun day at work.
  15. Carry a personal jump kit in your car… just in case.
  16. Have your days off planned weeks in advance.
  17. Get lost in the “civilian” parking lot at the hospital when visiting a friend, but know the back way in and use your security card for the “good” elevator.
  18. Can sleep through tv programs and 2 radios going off until you hear your unit, and then are wide awake.
  19. Exchange pleasantries and gossip with coworkers while doing CPR, or at a DOA.
  20. Assume that 50% of what you were told will change the minute you arrive at the hospital.
  21. Use radio slang and PCR terms in every day speech.
  22. Have met many people who almost qualified for the Darwin Awards.
  23. Think the tv show “Trauma” was a comedy.
  24. Have reached for the siren or radio in your own car.
  25. Have a hard time dressing yourself in “real” clothes on your days off.
  26. Believe Ativan and Prozac should be carried by all first responders.
  27. Believe bad things will happen if anyone comments on the “quiet shift” you’re having.
  28. Have had to listen to an endless stream of whining chatter from someone complaining of shortness of breath.
  29. Believe that procreation should require a permit and extensive background checks.
  30. Consider your job an effective means of birth control.
  31. Actually like the 70s tv show “Emergency.”
  32. Know that the true test of toughness is full spinal immobilization… and that more grannies pass that test than 30 something jocks (who often cry).
  33. Know a suitcase means trouble.
  34. Spend most of your days smelling like CalStat.
  35. Haven’t finished a meal or a tv program in years.
  36. Can “resurrect” someone just by mentioning narcan.
  37. Have had to explain to ER staff that “the sign out front says ‘hospital.'”
  38. Think handcuffs should be standard issue.
  39. Recognize people by their addresses.
  40. Know that sometimes diesel is the best medicine.

Please add yours!
What identifies people in your profession?

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